I am not angry, just hurt coz I am just a book mark in your
life which keeps waiting to be briefly touched maybe lingered on a lil’ bit on
my lucky days. However, I am sure you keep forgetting about my existence. I
wait and keep waiting. I am an impatient man but I still wait coz I like the
twinge of pain associated with such long waits. I wait and do nothing
important; I do not try and save the world; I watch a worthless movie maybe,
flip aimlessly through the pages of a dog-eared book already read before, keep
interacting with other people online without knowing why they are awake at this
unearthly hour – their stories I am sure might very well be similar or
radically different, extremely productive pursuits or totally wasted exertions –
and wait some more. Just to hear you say that you reached home safely. Just to
know that you are doing fine. I don’t demand time coz I understand you have
work pressure and loads of studies which are priorities. I understand. However,
I still stay awake just for those 5 minutes at the end of the day to hear you
say good night. To wish you a sound sleep. To tell you, that I love you. All I
expect are those 5 minutes but I would not tell you this coz then you would
make it an obligation for yourself and it would seem so fake. Just like the
silent tear drops that roll down my eyes and wet my pillow as I write this. I
am just sad that that I can never be what would really mean special to you. Try
as I might. Today. Tomorrow. For the rest of my life. Donno why it still pains
and hurts me when I know I am just pushing myself to be ‘us’ rather than ‘u’
and ‘I’. Trying hard to let go and move on from the kiss below the staircase on
that early March evening. I set you free. Work. Play. Drink. Party. Be merry.
Enjoy. Live life. Make friends. Have fun. Smoke up. Have sex. I release you
from the captivity of my love and the confines of my heart. The chains of
bindings that keep you from what you deserve. What you actually want. What you
crave for. I give up baby. I give up. Adieu. Take care, love….
P.S. : Written for no one.
Just written. However, often holds true for both the sexes. Isn’t it so???
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