Love as it is...

Love to her was the brilliance that his existence made her life fulfilling, love to him was the idea that her existence kept him from being lonely...

Love for her was sacrificing everything for anything that he wanted, love for him was not giving up on what was convenient for him...

Love for her was constantly looking out for his comfort, love for him was seeking her help...

Love for her was to acknowledge his importance in her life, love for him was to play cool and show nothing...

Love for her meant dreams of togetherness, love for him meant to see if it works out for a while...

Love for her meant adjusting according to the relationship, love for him was no changes required...

Love for her meant she would ask him to marry her often, love for him meant no promises or commitment...

Love slowly killed her, love slowly killed him...

The Railway Tracks...

The one thing that makes me feel like I am in a time machine is being on a train. I love the way train journeys make me feel. They give me a rush. A concoction of so many emotions that if I want to explain it, I would have to probably tell you everything that I experience on a train.

Let me start from the beginning then, when my parents took my cute lil' sis and me for our first ever family vacation to Puri, Orissa. I was in the second grade, my sis a year junior in school. We had heard stories of how train journeys took days but we had never been on a train for more than the time that it takes to travel by an express train from Dhanbad to Calcutta. We used to ask crazy questions to our parents and tried to smuggle in everything into the suitcases we packed as if we were shifting houses and not leaving for a vacation. I still have hazy memories of the both of us being startled when the engine whistled announcing the arrival of our train. On boarding the train we were astounded to see berths instead of the rows of seats that generally short distance passenger trains have. My sis fell asleep after the initial curiosity that is inherent in kids however I kept awake and looked out the window for most of the journey. I just couldn't sleep, afraid that I might miss something interesting. I still don't sleep much while travelling.

Train journeys however short always remind me of this experience. There are a host of other images which flash through my mind when I travel by train. Like the numerous times Shaheen and I travelled together, to and from New Delhi, and the times that were and everything that we have meant to each other over the years.

They remind me of the first time I was supposed to go to Manipal to meet Snoopy and how the train arrived without the compartments attached for Goa. A random, long, scary, energy sapping and emotionally draining misadventure ensued which a guy managed to undertake just coz the eyes of his lover beckoned him and seemed like the light house in a rough sea whenever his spirits sank on the highways of Karnataka.

They also serve sweaty reminders of the four months that I spent in Mumbai for my summer internship and of the harrowing local train struggles from Lower Parel to Vashi. Everyday a new lesson on the difficult lives of my country men and how distinctly different our dreams, hopes and aspirations are. And, the struggle to achieve them with a smile on our face. The indomitable spirit of the human kind and the famed Mumbai spirit.

Trains; allow me the luxury to revisit my  childhood, refresh memories, relive moments of glorious success, be in love, dwell on the past, alter the outcome of my behaviour in hindsight and sometimes when I am in really high spirits - play the super hero and probably save a damsel in distress ;P

However, the railway tracks always fill me with a feeling of melancholy. And that is because however hard they try, whichever direction they take, howsoever twist and turn they might or as many miles they travel side by side, they never meet for ever and for all the pains they take they get to meet each other only for the briefest periods of time, probably at a crossover just like new lovers stealing a glance at each other in a room full of friends who still don't know how they feel for each other or the slight brush of the hands in a market place where the girl/boy has been accompanied with a strict parent or a relative.

That is probably why I love the clouds. They meet whoever they want, whenever they want to, wherever they wish and for howsoever long they desire...

Life's ways!!!!

Life comes full circle. Oh! So many times. We just don’t either notice them or are too busy/have moved ahead to care for them. To actually, wait and relish these moments, re-live them. Sitting in this room, this 24th day of January, 2013, I pause to reflect on those July days in the very same classroom on this very desk. A younger me, full of excitement of having made it into Deloitte, getting to know new people, liking many, hopefully making many like me, learning by the day, having fun both during classes and afterwards with new friends; exploring the charms of this city, establishing myself at a new place as well as trying to be the responsible son, caring brother and the loving boyfriend that I had always strived to be.

Fast forward two and a half years and I hardly see any of those faces in the office from the class that I was in that day. All of the five people with whom I shared this desk during those days have gone their own separate ways. Some have new jobs, some new dreams, others new relationships and almost everyone a new life. Time flies. Yes! It surely does. I don’t know if I am happy or if I am sad. What should I be? How should I feel?

I remember vividly all their faces, those smiles, their joys and sorrows, each one’s struggles and victories, personal quests and aspirations. I can recall everything significant that has affected my life in the past thirty months.... Good, bad, ugly or effing fabulous!!!! I live them now, this moment, everything flooding through me, coursing through my veins. EVERYTHING....

Guess, we humans are hard-wired this way. Time, actually doesn’t heal anything, does it???? The scabs; we just hide them, forget them and bury them under the debris of recent memories, experiences and layers of time’s travesties and blame/praise Time by calling it the ‘greatest healer’.

I smile, I live, we all do, we all will. I look at the pretty girl sitting next to me and she smiles and asks me the topic of my next blog that she assumes correctly I am working on in the midst of the training session. I do not know what to tell her and I just smile back. I look at her face and the rest of the four people sharing the same desk and then glance all around me at everyone else in the class. So, how many do I know, how many more will I know in due course of time, will someone here affect/touch my life? Questions, only Time will have answers to. Well, whatever. Let time run its course and until then I shall smile, I shall sing, I shall savour entertaining conversations and I shall enjoy getting to know as many people as I can in this class and out there beyond the confines of the heavy wooden door because even if we part ways; the world is as small as it is large and somewhere, someday, somehow, sometime I am sure our paths will cross again and all I wish is that we create good/happy memories enough while we are engaged in the act of living life’s designs and knowing each other that when we do reach that stage of being in each other’s vicinity we can muster the courage to acknowledge the other’s presence, look up and into the other person’s eyes and let our eyes smile and do the talking even if we actually do not stop and do so.... 

The Willow Wails....

As a child who loved to run around,

But, afraid to sit by himself on the merry-go-round,

You inspired him to maintain his ground, and

With the bat and ball a passion he found.

Twirls, poses and appeals abound,

Whether awake, eating, in his dreams or any place he could bound (to),

Such was your grip on his lil’ heart,

That he would wake up with a start,

Every time the television played a Boost commercial or displayed a score card.

To him it has now become second nature,

To watch, read or collect things wherein you feature,

You, his God and, he, your humble creature.

So, when you broke this news to the world,

All his heart could do was pound....

Deep thuds and missing beats,

For you have been to him all good things INFINITE!!!!

P.S. : To be continued....

Sarcasmic Pleasures :P

DISCLAIMER : Any or all resemblance to any living, non-living being, plant, animal, paranormal existence, etc. is truly and honestly (I have the software open on my screen and my hand is on it) a coincidence. The writer accepts that this is purely fictional and might be a hallucination.

How to achieve legendary fan followings and remain amongst the most talked about in the office plus other attractive tricks and stunts*

1)    Enroll for everything – yes, EVERYTHING – that comes your way. Be it training, cultural program, fund raising, dancing (even if you hobble like me and others think you are about to throw up), helping new hires by imparting on-the job-training (you can always decline saying you have truckloads of work : psst… and use this time to catch up with your office buddies, go to the bandih wallah, coochie coo with your bf/gf on the phone), or better trying to tutor the professional who is assisting the new hires that you were assigned in the first place;

2) Be the 1^st to send out b’day, anniversary, seasons’, new year’s, Diwali, Dusshera, Eid, Christmas (there are so many festivals and special occasions; especially in India) mails to the whole office. You just have to be a bit more creative to come up with new ones. Try some which I came up with. Wishes for successful divorce, getting a new bf/gf, ditching the last one, pet giving birth to younger ones, pet eloping with neighbour’s pet (this one is sad so insert a sad smiley : if you need further assistance with this then kindly get in touch with my hot secretary she is a Six Sigma certified smiley maker on fb; if you don’t know what fb is then you need to call Technology Assistance Call Center), new watch day, new lingerie day (you need to be really observant or track status updates/tweets on fb or twitter), a dislocated arm/fractured neck (again insert sad or relevant smiley), got love bites mail (check with the person before sending to whole office) etc.;

3) If you were the first one to send these mails out then please ‘reply to all’ to whosoever replies and thanks you for your wishes. Keep replying to all for all such thanksgiving mails. Do not worry if you are not the 1^st person to send these mails. For you can always send out another mail wishing the same person for the same reason. Just change the text font, color, size and the background image. Also, for both the type of people please do not rest on your laurels. Every day you must take ownership and initiative to copy paste and forward to everyone pathetic one-liners, jokes, quotes, anecdotes, stories, snaps, pictures, irrelevant locations for holidays, enlightening piece of news (like who is Anna Hazare, do you know what goes into your paani puri etc.), etc. You need not worry whether whatever you are mailing out has/holds any semblance of truth or not. Just do it!!! (Nike is rich and they ask you to do it so what the heck, do it). Again, if someone replies you have to ‘reply to all’ (why the hell was that feature created in the first place; they could have just created send. Ya! You got it right. It was meant to be your vehicle to popularity). It is your birthright so always send to all;

4) Always take out time to go and visit people on their desks and say hi/hello/howdy/how are you?/do you have work to do? (the last question is a must). Repeat this at least 3 times daily for people you know. For people you do not know do it twice daily or one and a half times (half matlab walking by their desks and grinning at them like a dolt but sparing them your dignified presence for more than those fleeting seconds). Soon, the people you do not know will shift to the people you know list. See, I told you making friends and networking is child’s play;

5) Ask random people if they want to go to CCD/Barista/cafeteria/any other joint with you. If not, then drag them along. If still not, then at least you can tag along with them to the Breakout area or the water cooler. Remember to watch out for two universal symbols which denote the washrooms for the different genders. In your frenzy to keep on the conversation do not follow him/her into the sacrosanct place (after all, you aren’t Hutch/Vodafone ka kutta read pug that you’ll follow wherever he/she goes). In case you do, do not be afraid you will just hit the top levels of recognition amongst all members of the opposite sex within 50 metres of the vicinity of the washroom where you achieved this feat. You also will have a dinner time tale to tell at all company get togethers, parties, official dinners and can post it on fb and beg for comments and likes. Been there, done that. Also, you might get to say hello to the Operations fellows, Security gaurds, Housekeeping staff… Again networking!!! (In some years, they will vote for you for making you a Star Employee);

6) Keep away from your desk but keep your IM busy and active. How? I am still trying to figure this out. Subsequent posts will cover this issue in detail;

7) 1)    If something is not happening then make it happen. Laugh loudly as if the someone just gave you a free pass to the Disney Land and asked you to stay there forever all expenses paid (if you prefer sleaze then Vegas will be your choice) but laugh out loud so that the guy/gal who is trying to make that state return and is listening to the Linking Park removes his ear phones and look at you. See, you got his/her attention. Well begun but still half done. Try point#4 and 5 at him/her. If laughing loudly has people immune then add variations to your laughing style. Try snorting, grunting, guffawing, clutching at your throat, falling off your chair while laughing, falling on other people and their desks, etc. Please try and do not laugh as if you are about to orgasm because that might mean a hello to the integrity and compliance people. If you want to get featured on the weekly bulletin then go ahead and do this too;

8) If point#7 doesn’t work for you then lose your badge/ID and roam all around the premises and ask people if they have seen it. Do not ask demand it. After all, Right to Information is an Act now and a fundamental right. In fact, why don’t you start forwarding the chapters of this Act as mails every day. Enough to keep you going for a long time (so add it to point#3). After some time you can again go over to every one’s desk and announce that you have got it back. Tell them who all helped you, who didn’t, what all gossip you exchanged during the endeavor of tracking it down. In fact, at the EOD you can again send out an e-mail to thank people and promising help for their problems; both personal and professional;

9) Take a lunch/dinner break. The company entitles you to one. Hak se mango aur le lo. Work life balance bhi to zaruri hai;

10) Uff!!! I stretch so much and work so much but still there is so much work to be done. Am I a slave? Am I a servant? Keep ranting these things and disturb others. Persuade them to join you in on your cribbing brigade. Waste whatever time was there left for the day to end. Then, settle down on your desk and start surfing. Seniors will notice you are stretching way way past your normal scheduled hours. When they leave you again have to become active so conserve energy. Patience is key. It is the virtue which will ensure you achieve super stardom. Yes, just like Rajnikanth. You are slowly getting my point;

11) As soon as the expat/manager/senior/whoever you have been apple polishing all day leaves : Pack your bag and hit the gym. Work life balance and trying to remain healthy or trying to keep myself motivated gyaan arguments will help you dissipate all doubts your co-workers, juniors, colleagues harbor when they see you lugging your gym bag across the floor at the most ungodly and unearthly hour possible;

12) Charge the time that you spent in office and charge more. Always. Aakhir Indian ho. Kuch to logey. Time hi le lo. In fact agar client ko charge kar saktey ho to charge them for your food and travel too. Jaan hi le lo!!! There are many who have achieved mastery in this skill. Working for less hours and having more Client Service Hours. Data samples have been sent to the NASA and their time travel wing is still trying to solve this mystery as to how this is possible only in India. Until then we need to wait for the results. Not exactly, an intelligent colleague pointed out the MM (multiple monitor) theory. If you use two or more monitors you can/may/should charge time spent on both depending on your mood swings, the way the senior asked you to get the work in, the deadline etc. For more clarifications on this theory please reach out to me.

*Try these tips for maximum R&Rs. The writer does not take any guarantee of results or your bf/gf/pets walking out on you. Limited liability indemnification and whatever. Suggestions are subject to market risk and results may vary from person to person depending on co-workers level of patience, grit and ability to take shit and not stand up against it.

P.S. : If you have received this e-mail from me then appreciate it and then please delete it. Under any circumstances, please refrain from forwarding it across to your colleagues (including that ‘oh! so cute guy/girl’) and seniors or the HR department. I am sure you would want to excuse me the pleasantries that they would want to exchange with me if this gets around. Curb your urges to hit the send button (yes! I have the greening initiative and global warming issues on my mind), don’t make a cult following for this piece of whatever I wrote and as soon as the feelings of exhilaration and achievement have settled down, please go back to your desks and get your work done. ;P

Cheerio,

You know who wrote it

March : I love thee!!!!

Love, the word itself has a unique and mysterious ring to it. Some swear by its purity, some by its prowess, some of its magnanimity, some by its eccentricity and some of the wreckages and wars it causes both in the minds and in the souls of people who have experienced it.

Right since when I was a kid, I have loved the month of March coz it brought with it the only vacation which wouldn’t have any holiday homework to be done. With the final examinations behind me there were no constant naggings to study and no restrictions on the hours of doing whatever my young, rebel heart wanted to do, set apart March from May-June (summer hols) or December-January (winter break). I could play as much as I wanted in the front, cemented courtyard; my version of solo cricket with my bat and plastic ball rebounding off the wall and my own version of English commentary right through my mock matches wherein India always ended up winning (even if I was playing a test match and we, India, had conceded a first inning lead). I love the air that the setting of March brings about as it has a distinct smell about it. I can smell it all day and night and still not have my fill of it coz it brings with it a smell of freedom, life, my childhood, dad’s coming back home from office in the evening and giving me a royal ride on his scooter (and occasionally even letting me hold/twist the accelerator), mom smiling from the front verandah window on the first floor while doing her evening ‘pujo’, my sister striking a deal with me to bat and get out for 50 times before I got a turn to bat, my Dada and Mam-Mam (maternal grandparents) wondering as to what else would fall prey apart from the grandfather’s clock that was the first casualty after bearing the brunt of my Sachin Tendulkar hook shot, the air smelling sweet of shoe-flowers and spider-lilies as soon as the dusk tip-toed in, the moon in all its glory, me imagining warriors fighting in the night sky and trying to etch the name of my school crush by joining the stars while lying on the roof at night after a cool and refreshing bath by the tube-well and being dunked with prickly heat talc by mom later.

Well, any love story cannot be all love and no heart-burn. March, also brought with it pangs of misery and pain. Board examinations, piles of course books, refresher material, last 10 years’ solved question papers, unending syllabuses and the miniscule portion I had covered and examination schedules gave me shivers in this month, twice, in my life as a school kid. Sleepless nights, a ban on video games, no ‘adda’ sessions after tuition classes, confiscation of my cell phone, no going for drives on my two-wheeler and absolutely no sprawling on the bed and spending a couple of hours devouring and digesting every section of the newspaper, I hold them all against March. However, I agree that without a little pain and the occasional argument a love story is too perfect to be true, too boring to be fun, too fine to be enjoyed, too bland to be savoured and too sacrosanct to last a life time. So, my affair with March continues every year and it has only kept getting better with time.

I say so as I have enjoyed the colours of Holi and India’s win over Pakistan in the 2003 and 2011 cricket world cups in this month. Wherever, I have been, March has always been faithful to me and we have never changed the way our relationship has been over the years. March, felt awesome in Delhi as it had a balmy, soothing wind blowing during the evenings which was reassuring and it also feels great in Hyderabad as the warm March showers leave me filled with ecstasy and makes my heart crave for more just like a child wanting another helping of ice-cream or a particular colour of jujube (sponge candy).

March, also happens to bring with it the birthday of the most beautiful lady that I have ever known and whom I have and by whom I have been loved the most. The starry nights of March thus remind me of her deep black eyes which have a mischievous twinkle about them, the mysterious gusts of winds remind me of her lovely, unkempt locks blowing all over her pretty face, the soothing evenings remind me of her brilliantly sparkling teeth and her comforting smile and the warm rain always brings back memories of the first kiss I shared with her, invaluable, everlasting, and when time stood still….

P.S. : By indicating the month of March, I took the liberty of including in it the ending of February and the start of April too. Pardon my travesty. I love and will always love March and Snoopy….

Yours only and forever!!!

You’ll never ever realize maybe,

That I will love you forever, baby;

Don’t know how I can show you my feelings,

Open the door of your heart and you’ll find me kneeling;

Your lovely laughter reminds me of the wind chimes,

And bring back memories of the lovely times;

Spent together without a care,

Jokes and anecdotes that we would share;

Having fun till the hilt,

But, now I am just plunged in so much of guilt;

Was I so bad,

That, with me, you got so mad?

If your love for me was gone the moment you said bye,

I would prefer to grieve and die;

It’s not that I cannot go on and live without you,

Just that life then would have no value;

Trying to change and become a better human being,

So that you can once again for me have feelings;

Living through pain but having a lot of hope,

That you will not leave me forever to cry and mope..

P.S. : For the most loved girl in this universe.... Te amo!!!!